I have something small to say
- A secret I cannot keep.
I write it down during the day
And, in the night, I try to sleep.
Oh, damn those sons of Pan!
Never has any dream
Done any good to any man.
Dreams are not what they seem.
It had the echo of a bathroom
And the moonscape of the sea.
It held me in a clever zoom
To hide the truth from me.
That mirror in my head
Was both pleasant and real.
It shattered on my bed
Leaving just a wet seal.
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Author's Comments
This is my entry for =apocathary's Dream Journal contest.
Comments
 oooh.
-- "Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to" ~crystalcollecter "I reject your reality and substitute my own!!!"--[link] "I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)." -e.e. cummings oh noes! He is crazy!!!
-- "Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to" ~crystalcollecter "I reject your reality and substitute my own!!!"--[link] "I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)." -e.e. cummings  I really enjoyed this poem. A traditional rhyme scheme, and it works rather well for you.
Just a suggestion, that line "Dreams are not what they seem." is rather essential to the poem, I think. Is there any way you might add another verse, repeating the line just once more at the end, sort of a finale, if you will? Thank you. I think the traditional rhyme fits with the 'dream journal' theme, as if the character is trying to hide between poetry an ordinary embarassing situation.
The 'Dreams are not what they seem' is indeed a central line. I don't come back to it because I'm going for a humorous tone and, therefore, I'm ending the poem with just the punchline. -- Dangers of Poetry:  play it!  flip it! True, true, it does work better with the punch there. But I really do love that second verse especially.
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