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Poor Child's Letter to SantaA Poor Child’s Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

So it’s finally December,
And I really need to say...
I’ve been waiting to write this,
Since the middle of May.

Mommy’s sick again,
There’s blood in her cough.
A man came the other day,
He shut our electricity off.

And Daddy’s still not back,
Will he be here this year?
Last night when I asked,
Mommy broke down in tears.

Santa, I won’t ask for much,
I don’t really want much at all.
Just for things to be happy again,
For Daddy to come down the hall.

Also a new dress for Mommy,
Her’s is getting pretty old.
Maybe a new coat for me,
My wris

A Damaged Adult

Dear Santa,

I never believed in you, you know. I suppose you would know since you listen and look into everyone’s homes kind of like that guy from the Dr. Seuss Sleep Book. If you did exist I wonder if you’d skimp on my presents over my unbelief. It would hardly seem fair since my mom never even tried to have me believe in you. The only person who ever did was the nice old lady who lived down the road from my grandmother and would send presents over on Christmas that said they were from Santa Claus.

I still left you cookies sometimes, and carrots for the reindeer. I was into c

With Love, From Isabelle.Dear Santa, Hi! It’s Isabelle.
Hope your season’s full of cheer.
Mine’s been swell, and I’ve done well
to be real good this year!

I helped my mommy decorate
--- Santa, she nearly cried.
I baked her some treats, a tray full of sweets,
and brought buckets of snow right inside!

And when she said pick up your toys,
I pushed them 'neath my bed.
Though not quite done playing, my big heart was saying
make others feel happy instead.

And tonight I did the dishes,
My raisin hands you should have seen!
So I put that plate by the doggy gate
and Spot licked it up real clean.

So as you can see I’m doing my pa

With Love From Natalie

Dearest Darling Santa Claus,

I'm writing you in tears,
I haven't wanted anything
This much in many years.

I've tried to be so well behaved
all the whole year through.
Please overlook the tantrums I had
before I wrote to you.

I need a Christmas miracle
I know it's lots to ask
But with a bit of faith and luck
you can complete the task.

I've tried everything that I know how
to do this thing myself.
If you need, feel free to bring
a team of several elves.

I've left you out a plate of treats
and quite a lot of milk,
but if I could I'd leave you gold
and high-yield bonds and silk.

For priceless is the gift I seek,
I only as

Oh SantaDear Mr. Santa Claus,

How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope that everyone is doing very well up at the North Pole. My mommy said that it is time for me to write a letter to you to tell you what I would like for Christmas since I have been very good this year. And now mommy gives me the crayon to write with, so here we go...

In case you did not kno yet, I have a new sissy this year and she wood WEAWY like a new toy to play witf. Somthin flashy and lights up and dwives mommy and daddy bananas. I just kno she wood weally LOVE that toy if you can get it for her Santa. Oh and some stuffed aminals becuse she weally wans thos to. For me, Santa pw

Dear Santa...Dear Santa,

How are you kind sir? I do hope that the elves are not bugging you too much this year and that the reindeer are flying in a straight line too this year. We all remember how last year, someone...*coughs**...Rudolph..* ended up drinking all of the eggnog which was spiked by an elf and ended up flying backwards on Christmas Eve. I'm sure you gave him a stern warning and told him to behave or else.

Going on... I have been really good this year, Santa. There really isn't any way for me to get into trouble. I've gone to the gym to try to lose some weight. I've tried looking for a new place to work, to no avail of course. I've just tri

From the Desk of Mr. E. Jargon Mr. E. Jargon

Dear SantaDear Santa,

I know you watch over me all year and already know how good I have been, but I felt I might as well point out some of my deeds these past twelve months. I mean, you can’t have seen everything, right?

1. Rescued Mrs. O’Leary’s cat from her roof. Hey, it wasn’t entirely my fault she was up there in the first place. I made sure to mention the possible safety hazards of flying via slingshot.

2. Called the fire department after the Hendersons’ house caught on fire. The fire chief called it an electrical fire. It doesn’t count if they can’t figure out you caused it, right?

3. Ate all of the

To Santa DearTo Mr. Santa Claus,

Here's a letter for you, Santa dear,
So please try to listen and please try to hear.
Please try to hear what I've got to say,
Because here is what I wish for on Christmas Day.

I could always ask for a material thing.
Then again, I'm so lucky, I'm still able to sing.
So I'll ask you to give joy and maybe send some snow.
Some people haven't seen some, but what do I know?

So there's joy and there's snow, what else could I ask?
Maybe for peace, not war in a mask.
Think what we could accomplish if we all live in peace.
So please, dear ol' Santa, make all the wars cease.

Okay maybe that last one's currently too hard

Letter to SantaDear Santa,

It’s Christmas, and I want to ask you for what every other five year old could want.

Can I have a pony?

I also kind of wanted a stuffed pig this year to add to my pig collection. Oh! It would be so cool if it sang like that one that I saw at the store?

Jimmy turned 17 the other day and got a laptop, so can I have a laptop too? I promise it’ll be easy for me to learn how to use it.

Except while he was on it he began looking up pictures of naked ladies. He said “Come here, Tyler. Isn’t this awesome?” But I didn’t want to see the naked ladies. So I left the room.

Do all laptops show pictures

Dear Santa ...Dear Santa,

Hello! It's been a while since i wrote my last letter. Well, I'm not sure if you remember me, I'm that girl named Gaby from Guatemala, you know. That little girl who used to ask you for dolls and little houses for them. I missed those days.

Throughout these years, that little girl died and a new lady came to life. So i guess no more toys for me! My list, i guess it's a bit odd you know. Because every children asks for toys and such, and the only toy i would like to ask for is a plush doll from my favorite show, Danny Phantom!

First of all, i would love to ask you for a Merry Christmas to everybody, because some people get depre

hot chocolate 4 my lonely hrtDear Santa,

I’ve been a good girl this year,
You can ask the angels,
Please send me the gift of
Love,
The hot chocolate for my lonely heart
Don’t wanna be alone
On Christmas Eve,
Waiting for Santa to
Put my present under the tree
And fall asleep with my teddy bear.
Waking up next morning,
My teddy’s gone,
Instead your wishing me
With a kiss
Lost in your arms
Loneliness was only a dream
Santa thanks for sending me love
On Christmas Eve

Strawberries and cookies
By Melanie

Dear SantaDear Santa,

Where's my fucking bike!? I asked you for the past four, FOUR, bloody years for a freaking bike, but do I get it? No, no I don’t! And if you even think of giving me the excuse of me being on the naughty list you got another thing coming fat man! I have been so good, so nice, to everyone, even those bastards who won’t hold doors for you even if you are directly behind them; I have even been nice to those other bastards who refuse to be polite, even when you are trying to help them. So Santa, don’t you dare tell me I have been a bad child, for then you would risk the chance of being put on your own blasted list of th

Dear SantaDear Santa,

Looks like Florida will be having it's usual cold, dry winter. I guess it'd be to much to ask for to see a little snow, right? Then again, with how global warming is coming along, I wouldn't be too surprised to see some.

I wonder, does global warming affect you guys over there in the North Pole too? Does it melt all your snow and swamp all your elves' workshops and soak through your merry coat and curl that white beard of yours until even Mrs. Claus has a hard time straightening it for you?

I guess that could explain why the presents I received last Christmas were soaked through. Or maybe that was

Northbound?Dear Santa:

It's getting close to Christmas,
As I'm sure you know you know.
All the ponds are frozen over,
And the ground is white with snow.

I've tried to be my goodest,
Which I'm sure you're glad to hear,
So I thought I might just fill you in
On what I want this year:

A pony and a kitten, 'cause
The ones from last year died.
A castle might be much to ask,
But I'll let you decide.

And, yes, what's more, I'd like to have
My cake, and eat it too--
For that I'll need my two front teeth,
If only for to chew.

And since my one is getting dull,
I want a new best friend--
Who thinks I'm just fantastic,
Or, if not, at least preten

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How is your little toy

by ~RickDanger, Dec 24, 2007, 11:09:01 AM
Contests / 2007 / 2007 Holiday Contests / Litmas / Santa Letters

Dear Santa,

I hope this letter finds you in good health and that all is well with Mrs. Claus. Before I begin, I apologize if this is not the proper way to introduce myself, but I feel an overwhelming urge to be brutally honest.

I usually contact my clients through e-mail, so I hope you can appreciate the fact that your present accommodations, well within the borders of North Pole, make you a very hard to spam. I don't suppose you even have a phone line. I imagine that even snail-mail is delivered to you only once a year. Therefore, I'm taking advantage of this "dear Santa" bullshit to make sure I get to you. Here's the deal.

My company specializes on a wide range of products designed to enhance the manhood of old geezers such as yourself. Surely you are aware of the huge profits that can be made with this terrible naughty people who - unlike your nice girls and boys - actually have some money to spend. Between you and me, I can cut you a sweet bargain on a lifetime supply of blue pills - or a set of New Millennium Love Tubes, your choice - in exchange for an exclusive mass distribution contract with your company.

People say you're the best in the game. Global one-night delivery is your trademark. I need that kind of expertise - whatever the cost may be - to make at least a million sales by Christmas morning. Great, beautiful boxes of our new and improved Big Bad Boner are already lined up and ready to go. This is your golden chance to finally pay up your loans, sell the place and move to sunny Florida. I'm sure that's all Mrs. Claus wants from Santa. To spend a glamorous day at the beach and a passionate night that goes beyond the usual "sleep well, dear". God knows you owe that much to her. Jesus Christ knows this deal is all I could want for Christmas. You have to find a phone and call me as soon as possible.

Also, before you dismiss my amazing offer, I have to say that I don't actually believe you exist, not really. I'm just sending this stupid letter out to the North Pole as last ditch effort to fulfill my sales quota for the year - so please, please hear this humble cry of a desperate man. I'm close to losing my home and I have six kids to feed, the ugly bastards. For both our sakes, let us come to an agreement.

Thank you for your time,

Best wishes,

Tom Sailor

P.S.: I also have here one remaining Power Titan Pump that I'm sure you'll enjoy. Give me a call!

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